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How long does it take to overcome two years of marriage, two more of a relationship? I had never been tempted before; once I'd found Rick considered the search over. I had listened to my firiends' stories about their quest for the right man, their disastrous dates, their heartbreaks, and never put myself in their place. It was like watching a travel show about a place you knew you'd never go, Albania or Finland or Panama. Yet now I seemed to have a plane ticket to Helsinki in my hand.

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Then it happened: like one of those one-cell creatures under the microscope that for no apparent reason suddenly divides into two, I fel uspulling apart into distinct entities with separate perespectives. It was strange: I hadn't realized how together we'd been until we were far apart.

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C'mon Ella, the best defence is offence. It was Rick's favourite phrase; I could almost hear him saying it.

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When he looked up and saw me, he stood up, smiling nervously. He was wearing work clothes, a white button-down shirt, a navy cotton blazer and docksiders. He looked big and healthy and American in that dark cave of place. like a Cadillac crawling through a narrow street.

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