Confronting and solving problems is a painful process, which most of us attempt to avoid. Avoiding resolution results in greater pain and an inability to grow both mentally and spiritually. Drawing heavily on his own professional experience, Dr M. Scott Peck, a psychiatrist, suggests ways in which facing our difficulties – and suffering through the changes – can enable us to reach a higher level of self-understanding. He discusses the nature of loving relationships: how to distinguish dependency from love; how to become one's own person and how to be a more sensitive parent. This is a book that can show you how to embrace reality and yet achieve serenity and a richer existence. Hugely influential, it has now sold over six million copies – and has changed many people's lives round the globe. It may change yours.
The Road Less Travelled 4 csillagozás
Eredeti megjelenés éve: 1978
Dependency may appear to be love because it is a force that causes people to fiercely attach themselves to one another. But in actuality it is not love; it is a form of antilove. It has its genesis in a parental failure to love and it perpetuates the failure. It seeks to receive rather than to give. It nourishes infantilism rather than growth. It works to trap and constrict rather than to liberate. Ultimately it destroys rather than builds relationships, and it destroys rather than builds relationships, and it destroys rather than builds people.
For the call to grace in its ultimate form is a summons to be one with God, to assume peership with God. Hence it is a call to total adulthood. We are accustomed to imagining the experience of conversion or sudden call to grace as an 'Oh, joy!' phenomenon. In my experience, more often than not it is, at least partially, an 'Oh, shit' phenomenon. At the moment we finally listen to the call we may say, 'Oh, thank you, Lord'; or we may say, 'O Lord, I am not worthy'; or we may say, 'O Lord, do I have to?'
326. oldal (Arrow Books, 1990)
Love is not a feeling. Many, many people possessing a feling of love and even acting in response to that feeling act in all manner of unloving and destructive ways. On the other hand, a genuinely loving individual will often take loving and constuction action toward a person he or she consciously dislikes, actually feeling no love toward the person at the time and perhaps even finding the person repugnant in some way.
The principal form that the work of love takes is attention. When we love another we give him or her our attention; we attend to that's person's growth. By far the most common and important way in which we can exercise our attention is by listening. We spend an enormous amount of time listening, most of which we waste, because on the whole most of us listen very poorly.
Commitment is inherent in any genuinely loving relationship. Anyone who is truly concerned for the spiritual growth of another knows, consciously or instinctively, that she or he can significantly foster that growth only through a relationship of constancy.
The tendency to avoid challenge is so omnipresent in human beings that it can be properly considered a characteristic of human nature. But calling it natural does not mean it is essential or beneficial or unchangeable behavior. It is also natural to defecate in our pants and never brush our teeth. Yet we teach ourselves to do the unnatural until the unnatural becomes itself a second nature. Indeed, all self discipline might be defined as teaching ourselves to do the unnatural.
What makes crises of these transition periods in the life cycle – that is problematic and painful – is that in successfully working our way through them we must give cherished notions and old ways of doing and looking at things. Many people are either unwilling or unable to suffer the pain of giving up the outgrown which needs to be forsaken. Consequently they cling, often forever, to their old patterns of thinking and behaving, this failing to negotiate any crisis, to truly grow up, and to experience the joyful sense of rebirth that accompanies the successful transition to greater maturity.
Hasonló könyvek címkék alapján
- George K. Simon, Jr.: In Sheep's Clothing ·
- Lundy Bancroft: Why Does He Do That? ·
- George K. Simon, Jr.: Character Disturbance ·
- Susan Forward: Toxic Parents ·
- Gary Chapman: The 5 Love Languages ·
- Susan Brewster: To Be an Anchor in the Storm ·
- Susan Brewster: Helping Her Get Free ·
- Abby Ellin: Duped ·
- Ramani Durvasula: „Don't You Know Who I Am?” ·
- bell hooks: All About Love ·