How ​to be a Brit 92% 19 csillagozás

THE WEATHER

This is the most important topic in the land. Do not be misled by memories of your youth when, on the Continent, wanting to describe someone as exceptionally dull, you remarked: ‘He is the type who would discuss the weather with you.’ In England this is an ever-interesting, even thrilling topic, and you must be good as discussing the weather.

EXAMPLES FOR CONVERSATION

For Good Weather

‘Lovely day, isn't it?’
‘Isn't it beautiful?’
‘The sun …’
‘Isn't it gorgeous?’
‘Wonderful, isn't it?’
‘It's so nice and hot …’
‘Personally, I think it's so nice when it's hot – isn't it?’
‘I adore it – don't you?’

For Bad Weather

‘Nasty day, isn't it?’
‘Isn't it dreadful?’
‘The rain … I hate the rain …’
‘I don't like it at all. Do you?’
‘Fancy such a day in July. Rain in the morning, then a bit of sunshine, and then rain, rain, rain all day long.’
‘I remember exactly the same July day in 1936.’
‘Yes, I remember too.’
‘Or was it in 1928?’
‘Yes, it was.’
‘Or in 1939?’
‘Yes, that's right.’

Now observe the last few sentences of this conversation. A very important rule emerges from it. You must never contradict anybody when discussing the weather. Should it hail and snow, should hurricanes uproot the trees from the sides of the road, and should someone remark to you: ‘Nice day, isn't it?’ – answer without hesitation: ‘Isn't it lovely?’
Learn the above conversation by heart. If you are a bit slow in picking things up, learn at least one conversation, it would do wonderfully for any occasion.
If you do not say anything else for the rest of your life, just repeat this conversation, you still have a fair chance of passing as a remarkably witty man of sharp intellect, keen observation and extremely pleasant manners.

26-8. oldal

It is all right to have central heating in an English home, except the bath room, because that is the only place where you are naked /and/ wet at the same time, and you must give British germs a fair chance.

48. oldal

In these past twenty-one years England has gained me and lost an Empire. The net gain was small. I used to pronounce my name Me-cash but nowadays most people say Mikes to rhyme with likes. The Empire now pronounces its name Commonwealth to rhyme with nothing at all.

97. oldal

The aim of introduction is to conceal a person's identity. It is very important that you should not pronounce anybody's name in a way that the other party may be able to catch it.

23. oldal

Anyway, this whole language business is not at all easy. After spending eight years in this country, the other day I was told by a very kind lady: ‘ But why do you complain? You really speak a most excellent accent without the slightest English.’

They speak of death as if it were something natural. It is, of course, more natural than birth. Hundreds of millions of people are not born; but all who are born, die.

You can make your own breakfast in some hotels from instant coffee or tea supplied in little bags, or you may be served scrambled eggs made of top-quality plastic mixed with outstandingly tasty cotton wool.

The open fire is an accepted, indeed a traditional, institution. You sit in front of it and your face is hot whilst your back is cold. It is a fair compromise between two extremes that settles the problem of how to burn and catch cold at the same time.

50. oldal