Dean Holder személy
A szó úgy jön az ajkaimra, mintha mindig is ott lakott volna valahol a kedvel és a szerelmes közt a szótárban. Ahol jó helyen van.
– Élek – szólalok meg.
– Mi van? – méltatlankodik a fejét rázva.
– Élek. Ha összekevered a like (szeret) és a love (szerelem) betűit, ki tudod rakni, hogy live (él). Használhatod arra, amit érzel.
– (…) Egyszerűen csak örüljünk neki, hogy végre megtaláltalak.
Elnevetem magam az utolsó mondaton.
– Ezt úgy mondtad, mintha kerestél volna.
Összevonja a szemöldökét, az arcomra teszi a tenyerét, és közelebb húz magához.
– Az egész nyomorult életemben téged kerestelek.
Sky, Sky, Sky, Sky, Sky, Sky, Sky, Sky, Sky.
There. Get used to it, because I have a feeling she’s all I’m going to be talking about for a while. Oh, my God, Les. I can’t even explain to you how perfect this girl is. And when I say perfect, I mean imperfect, because there’s just so much wrong with her. But everything wrong with her is everything that draws me in and makes her perfect.
She’s flat-out rude to me and I love it. She’s stubborn and I love it. She’s a smartass and she’s sarcastic and every witty thing that comes out of her mouth is like music to my ears because that’s exactly what I want. She’s what I need and I don’t want her to change at all. There’s not a single thing about her I would change.
There is one thing about her that worries me, though, and that’s the fact that she seems to be a little emotionally detached. And as noticeable as it was when I saw her with Grayson, I don’t see that at all when she’s with me. I’m almost convinced she feels different about me, but I would be lying if I said I wasn’t worried that she wouldn’t feel anything if I kissed her. Because dammit, Les, I want to kiss her so fucking bad but I’m too scared. I’m scared if I kiss her too soon, it’ll feel like every other kiss she’s ever received. She’ll feel nothing.
I don’t want her to feel nothing when I kiss her. I want her to feel everything.
„What you want to do tonight?”
I read Daniel’s text and respond.
„WTF, puss flap!? No! Me. You. Plans.”
„Can’t. Pretty sure I have a date.”
„Can I come?”
„Can I be your date next Saturday, then?”
„Can’t wait, sugar.”
“Dean,” she said to the boy, wrapping her arms around his neck. “I got lost.”
He picked her up. “I know, sis. I’m so sorry. You’re okay now.” She pulled her tear-streaked face away from his chest and she glanced in our direction.
She wasn’t Hope.
She wasn’t Hope at all.
And I wasn’t the Dean she was looking for.
Mom squeezed my hand and knelt down in front of me. “I’m so sorry, "Dean,” she said. “I thought it was her, too.”
A sob broke free from my chest and I cried. I cried so damn hard, Les. Mom wrapped her arms around me and she started crying, too, because I don’t think she knew that an eight-year-old could have his heart crushed like that.
But I was crushed. My heart broke all over again that day.
And I never wanted to hear the name Dean again.