Chelsea Jameson személy
“Blueberry are my favorite,” he said.
“Oh.” Jade snorted but stayed silent, letting me take the brunt of this humiliation.
“And I’m not anti-social or a savant. I’m just a good old-fashioned prick… with supersonic hearing.”
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“I’m so sorry,” he whispered. “So fucking sorry.”
My heart had never felt heavier than this moment.
Still so confused, I was only sure of two things.
One: I had to move.
Two: I was desperately in love with him.
My place was right in the south central section of the Mission District. I loved the culture in my new neighborhood. Produce bins and a variety of cafes lined the streets. It was also a mecca for Latin culture, which was great, except for the fact that it reminded me of Elec, who was half Ecuadorian. Little reminders of the guy who broke my heart were everywhere.
Elec hadn’t been the same since returning from his father ’s funeral in Boston several weeks ago. Something changed him. He’d made every excuse in the book not to sleep with me. That’s right. My boyfriend – love of my life – with the voracious sexual appetite suddenly just stopped wanting me. It was like a switch had gone off inside of him. That was my first clue, but there were several other signs that the guy I’d thought was my soulmate had somehow fallen out of love with me.
Elec took off his glasses, placing them on the desk. He then slowly and nervously slipped his hands into his pockets. I doubted I’d ever feel those hand caress my body again. His eyes were red. Had he been crying in the car? Then came the words that started the unraveling of any trust I’d had in my own judgment.
“Chelsea, please just know I tried everything I could not to hurt you.”
The rest was all jumbled, masked by the enormity of the pain and sadness building in my chest and numbing my brain.
I didn’t know how I was going to ever recover from this hurt, how I was ever going to trust in love again. Because I truly believed he loved me. I believed love was indestructible. I was wrong.
I admired the guy’s broad shoulders and tanned muscular back as his arm moved the spray can up and down. “God, doesn’t he remind you of Elec, though? Arm tattoo…dark hair. Artistic. Basically, that’s the last type of guy I’m going for at this point.”
“So, if someone looks like or seems similar to Elec, then they’re automatically disqualified? They’re destined to do the same thing Elec did? Is that how you think? That’s just stupid rationale.”
“You bring that question up a lot, Chelsea. Whether or not Elec truly loved you. I think part of why we can’t seem to move forward from that can be explained by the concept of the unicorn.”
“The unicorn? What is that?”
“A unicorn is something that is mythically beautiful and unattainable, right?”
“That was what Greta was to Elec. He’d ruled out a possibility of love with her because she was forbidden. He was able to fall in love with you in the meantime. That love was quite genuine. However, when the unicorn suddenly becomes attainable, that changes everything. The power of the unicorn is extremely potent.”
“So, what you’re saying is that Elec really did love me but only when he basically thought that being with Greta was an impossibility. She was his unicorn. I wasn’t a unicorn.”
“That’s exactly right…you were not his unicorn.”
“I wasn’t his unicorn,” I repeated in a whisper. “Can I just – “I’m sorry, Chelsea. Our time is up for today. We’ll explore this issue a little more next Tuesday.
“Of course not. I feel better about the friends thing now that I explained
myself to you. I just don’t want things to be awkward between us, you know, if —”
“If you’re with a girl…” I interrupted.
He nodded. “Or if you’re with a guy.”
“You say that I’ll forget you once I leave, but I can guarantee you that won’t be true. I might move on, yes, because you’ve left me no choice. But that doesn’t change how I feel about you. You’re in my heart, and I can’t get you out. I don’t know if I want to. Being with you is the only thing that feels right. It would be one thing if you just didn’t have feelings for me, but if you’re telling yourself that I am better off without you, then you’re just wrong. If the emptiness I’m feeling tonight is any indication, I am definitely not better off.”