Skottie Young amerikai
1978. április 3. (Bristol, Tennessee) –
– Why do you hate this place so much? Most kids love it. It has everything you could ever want.
– The choice, I guess. I don't like not having one. It doesn't matter how fun something is, if you're obligated to do it, you learn to resent it. Before long, that resentment turns to hate.
– What say you, little one? You ready for a RIDDLE?
– Is anyone ever really ready for a riddle? They're kind of the worst, right?
– Then how about I add a third option. I grind your guts and bones and use it for a roux in tomorrow's gumbo.
– FML. Riddle away.
– Man, you really get me! I mean, if you wouldn't have tried to kill me, then I wouldn't have cut your head off with your own ax, and we could've totally been besties.
It's like when you meet someone but never remember their name. You're like, „Hi, I'm Gert,” and then you're reminding yourself to pay attention to their name when they say it.
Only you realize they said their name while you were telling yourself to pay attention.
Then you're stuck calling them buddy, or brother, or honey, or you FLUFFING egg-sucker.
– Anyway, we're near Faun Valley. I hear the Horn and Hoof serves a mean margarita.
– What about „No More Drinking” thing you declared after your day of being NORMAL?
– What about the „You Shut Your Mouth and Let's Go Get CANNONED” thing?
– Fair enough. I'm in.
– How am I supposed to figure all this PLUSH out when I’m forever teetering on the edge of a riddle-induced psychotic break and the dark abyss of diabetic coma?
Larry: Winter is coming. […] I mean Harriet Winter, head of the H.R.--
– Why's it so cold?
– It's ice cream island. The word ICE is in the name.
– Fairyland may be the happiest place on Earth for dumb snot-nose brats, but it's also filled with the blackest of dark-hearted evils. And EVERYONE knows to pack a FLUFFING lunch if they want to go a few rounds with me.
– Do they also know to pack a gask mask? 'Cause your breath is B-RU-TAL!