S. Walden

I nodded, looking up at him. He looked at me with the deepest concern, and I forgot that he was a bad guy. He didn’t sound like one now. He sounded like he wanted to protect me, take care of me, and I almost believed him.
Almost.

I realized I needed to look at evil in an entirely new light. Most bad guys weren’t running around with eyes bugged out. Most bad guys didn’t come across freaky and frightening…Most bad guys were normal, everyday guys moving through life like anyone else… They were hard to spot and that’s what made them so good at being bad… They could get away with it, and they knew it.

I transformed into the predator. He just didn't know it yet. He thought I was the prey, and I'd let him.

I'm not talking about getting your feelings hurt because someone or something didn't live up to your expectations. I'm talking about the kind of dignity that changes you as a person, makes you withdraw, hide from the world because suddenly it's turned into something frightening – full of dark corners and monsters.

You think you know what to expect. You think you have it all planned out. But something in you always surprises you, and it’s a buzzing undercurrent that keeps you silently guessing until your picture is complete.

Ryan chuckled. “You’re going to be my trouble this year, aren't you?” he asked softly. Hell yeah I was.

He placed his hand over my heart, feeling the rapid, uneven beating. “I’ll take that as a ‘yes’.”

“Making friends already, huh?” Dad asked as we made our way out of the gym to Dad’s old pickup truck.
“Hardly,” I replied. “Though he seemed nice enough.”
The lie felt heavy in my mouth. He wasn’t nice enough. He wasn’t nice at all, and I knew it.

She drew in her breath and stared at me.
“I would like to know what you’ve done to my father,” I said. “Because all of a sudden he’s running and stocking the fridge with disgusting healthy food and singing in the shower. Yes, I heard him the other day singing in the shower. And it was terrible.”
Ms. Manning giggled. A grown woman giggled. I raised my eyebrows in disbelief.
“Brooke, I’m not discussing this with you,” she said.
“Ms. Manning, come on! Did he ask you out on a date?”
“None of your business.”
“Do you like him?”
“Brooke, please.”
“Am I gonna get A’s on all my papers in your class from now on?”
“Brooke!” She looked outraged, if a person can look outraged when she’s smiling.
I thought I’d keep goading her.
“I just figured that if you’re gonna marry my dad someday, I should get A’s in your class. Seems fair to me. I set you up.”
“Who said anything about marriage?!” she cried.
“Ms. Manning, these are progressive times, but I’m old school. I cannot allow you to live with my father in sin. You have to be married first before you live together.”

Brooke, why don’t we talk about you instead? You seem much more interesting.”
I started feeling frustrated. “I’m sure that’s not true. Why are you so mysterious?” I tried to sound light, but I think it came out as an accusation instead.
Ryan was quiet for a moment.
“Look, you probably don’t want to be associated with me at school, okay?”
What the hell did that mean?
“I guess I’m a bit of a pariah. And I don’t mind. I just don’t wanna drag you down.