!

Daniel Sloss skót

1990. szeptember 11. (Kingston upon Thames, Egyesült Királyság) –

Tudástár · 4 kapcsolódó alkotó

KatalógusnévSloss, Daniel
Nemférfi
Honlapdanielsloss.com

Könyvei 1

Daniel Sloss: Everyone You Hate is Going to Die

Felolvasásai 1

Daniel Sloss: Everyone You Hate is Going to Die

Népszerű idézetek

Amren>!

I used to believe in true love and “the One.” But I also used to believe in Santa and Bitcoin.

Daniel Sloss: Everyone You Hate is Going to Die And Other Comforting Thoughts on Family, Friends, Sex, Love and More Things That Ruin Your Life

Amren>!

I just wanted a girlfriend. That’s what people my age had, and girlfriends turned into wives and eventually mothers. Partners were glorified Pokémon, as far as I was concerned. I didn’t need to catch them all. But I definitely needed one. I’d’ve taken a fucking Weedle at that point.

Daniel Sloss: Everyone You Hate is Going to Die And Other Comforting Thoughts on Family, Friends, Sex, Love and More Things That Ruin Your Life

Amren>!

I love to meet my mates’ parents just so I can try and work out what led to the car crash of a person I’ve chosen as a lifelong friend.

Daniel Sloss: Everyone You Hate is Going to Die And Other Comforting Thoughts on Family, Friends, Sex, Love and More Things That Ruin Your Life

Amren>!

Side note: Never, ever allow someone else to become your other half. Jesus fucking Christ. Have some self-respect. You’re a full-grown biological, statistical anomaly that has cognitive thought standing on a rock that’s hurtling through an infinite universe, could you stop being so fucking basic, please? You are you. They are them. Together you are a couple. If your other half completes you, why on earth didn’t you try to fill that void yourself first? Don’t answer. I’ll tell you. It’s because you’re a fucking twat.

Daniel Sloss: Everyone You Hate is Going to Die And Other Comforting Thoughts on Family, Friends, Sex, Love and More Things That Ruin Your Life

Amren>!

I understand that I swear too much. I get that. Swearing is different where I’m from. Cunt is only an insult some of the time. In Scotland you can be a “good cunt” or a “bad cunt,” but your status as “cunt” is not up for negotiation. My mother calls me that word. Sometimes I forget that it’s a word that offends people because I’m normally surrounded by adults who don’t get upset at specific noises (although my American editor keeps cutting it out of this book, the cunt).

Daniel Sloss: Everyone You Hate is Going to Die And Other Comforting Thoughts on Family, Friends, Sex, Love and More Things That Ruin Your Life

Amren>!

People that are offended by swearing are the most pathetic breed of human being that has ever stepped foot on this planet. I can’t even call them children. Because children don’t give a shit about swearing. But these people can have their entire day ruined by the use of a word. The uttering of a single syllable can cause these fuckwits to lose their minds, to write letters of complaint. TO OTHER ADULTS!

Daniel Sloss: Everyone You Hate is Going to Die And Other Comforting Thoughts on Family, Friends, Sex, Love and More Things That Ruin Your Life

Amren>!

If you’re one of these knobs who spends your entire online presence and social life constantly talking about how great your relationship is in front of your friends who aren’t in relationships, I want you to know this. I want you to know that I know you’re not happy. How do I know? Because I’m happy. And very rarely does the stuff I’m happy about make its way online because I am experiencing it then and there. I don’t talk about how great my friends are online because I tell them to their face. I don’t brag about how well my career is going because I understand that I got my career with a fair bit of luck and a lot of others weren’t afforded the same opportunities I was. I just enjoy my job and try to keep it going. The reason you are typing out how much you love your partner isn’t to convince the world you love them. You are trying to convince yourself. And I see right fucking through you.

Daniel Sloss: Everyone You Hate is Going to Die And Other Comforting Thoughts on Family, Friends, Sex, Love and More Things That Ruin Your Life

Amren>!

“How do I know if it’s true love?”
Simple. Is your reaction “Oh, my God. She’s so perfect. I love her. I’ve never felt like this before. I can’t go on without this person. I’m so happy I’m in love”?
Congratulations! You’re not in love. You’re in love with the idea of love. You’re in lust and I’m gonna laugh at you when this fails. And it will.
I believe love should be the most inconvenient thing in the world. Falling in love should be like, “Are you fucking kidding me? Shit. I was having a swell old time alone, and then this perfect dumbass turned up and now I want to be with her. What an absolute selfish prick this person is to come out of nowhere and make me feel this. Goddamn it. I was having fun. Oh, well.”

Daniel Sloss: Everyone You Hate is Going to Die And Other Comforting Thoughts on Family, Friends, Sex, Love and More Things That Ruin Your Life

Amren>!

Your point doesn’t sway me, because I know you’re an idiot. But I suspect my opinions do sway you. Some part of them hit home, and that doubt makes you angry because you haven’t doubted any of that before. Or at least admitted that doubt. Who am I to do that? I’ll tell you. I’m the fucking comedian who broke up 120,000 couples, caused 350 weddings to be canceled weeks before they happened, and is now being cited in divorce cases as one of the main causes.
Enjoy the fucking book.

Daniel Sloss: Everyone You Hate is Going to Die And Other Comforting Thoughts on Family, Friends, Sex, Love and More Things That Ruin Your Life

markiboi>!

Tinder has become a cesspool of bad options because fun people kept telling their shit mates about it and now it's all been overrun by plebs. If you go around saying, „I'm not on here for a one-night stand,” then I suggest you get the fuck off the one-night-stand app. You don't walk into a butcher shop and say „I'm not here for meat” and then expect the gentleman behind the bar to whip up a salad. Go to a salad bar and stop ruining the meat shop. There are hundreds of dating websites. Stick to them. We were all having the time of our lives until you came over here.

83. oldal, Chapter 3 - Genitalia: Our Best Friends and Our Worst Enemies (Hutchinson Heinemann, 2021)

Daniel Sloss: Everyone You Hate is Going to Die And Other Comforting Thoughts on Family, Friends, Sex, Love and More Things That Ruin Your Life